Have you ever wished you had a wildly exotic instrument that you could pull out and play with expertise, to the amazement of friends and concertgoers?

It’s never been easier to get your hands on and learn a strange instrument.

Didgeridoo, Bagpipes… or Hurdy-gurdy?

You could take up the Didgeridoo, for instance. It’s the oldest known wind instrument, originating with the Aboriginals of Northern Australia. It’s long and slightly conical, made of wood, and although you can only play one note, the tone is earthy and emotive.

Bagpipes are nice-bring a hefty set of lungs to that party, though. The Hurdy-gurdy, perhaps? This sounds just a little like the bagpipes, but it’s shaped like a violin, and is played by turning a crank (which sounds the strings) and using a set of piano-like keys (which control pitch).

Harmonica? Accordion?

If your tastes run more towards the blues or the blue-grass, get yourself a Harmonica. It won’t take a lot of time to get started, and you can dive right into the pleasure of perfecting your skill.

You could also pick up the Ukulele (easy and small) or the Accordion (clumsy but full of character, and excellent for a quaint European flavor). Or the Balalaika, from Russia and the Ukraine, is an interesting triangular stringed instrument.

Or… let’s really go crazy

But if you really want to raise a few eyebrows, why not learn the Harpouditar (a 26-string guitar)? Or the Skatar (a guitar and bass made out of a skateboard)? Or the Rumitone (a sit-and-spin sculpture instrument, played by striking metal stick-like bells while dancing)?

You might also consider the Windform, created by Australian artist Garry Greenwood. It’s a gorgeous 20-foot-long horn made out of leather. Not sure how easy it is to get your hands on one, though.

If your fancy runs to fluting, the Shakahachi flute is an easy, exotic start. It’s short, Japanese, end-blown, and tuned to a 5-note scale, but can produce all 12 notes in the Western chromatic scale. Or you could try the Ringflute, which looks like a ring of pipe with special holes.

A taste of the Pikasso… or vegetable orchestra?

If you really want to impress the guys at home, play the Pikasso for them. This is a piece of legend created by luthier (lute maker) Linda Manzer specifically for guitarist Pat Metheny. It has four necks, two sound holes, and 42 strings, and it took 2 years to make. You have to see it to believe it.

If you’re running a little low on the cash end of things, get into vegetable playing (yes; the ones you eat).

The Viennese Vegetable Orchestra has been doing it since 1998. They’ve got 11 musicians, a sound engineer, a video artist… and a cook. They play Cuke-o-phones, Radish-marimbas, Carrot Flutes, Pumpkin Basses, Leek Violins, and other freshly made instruments, and they play them all over Europe and Asia.

If you prefer the Harpischord, but find it too bland, you might see if you can find the one Henry Lim made of 100,000 LEGOs.

Spicing up the church music

If you’re interested in spicing up your church music, there is a wide array of eccentric organs to explore. Try the Bubble Organ, which uses balloons, PVC, and bubbling water. Or the Beer Bottle Organ, which is, as you might imagine, made up of beer bottles instead of pipes.

The Stalacpipe Organ plays on 3 ½ acres of stalactites, although, on the flip side, it’s very difficult to move. The Sea Organ is the first organ in the world to be played by ocean waves.

But the crown organ choice is probably the Uberorgan. It’s made up of several bus-size biomorphic balloons, for a total size of 15,000 square-feet.

Whatever your chosen weapon-make sure you get to be killer on it. There’s a Diggeridoo player somewhere who’ll put you to shame.

Forester Research has just released a report asserting that digital sales currently make up 18 percent of the American music market… and that they’ll make up 41 percent of it within five years.

The two most surprising things

There are two incredibly surprising things about this report. The first is that digital music will make up nearly half of the total market in five short years. The second is that it makes up only 18 percent now.
Really?

I’m sure anyone who gets most of their music online will be shocked to find the number so currently small; meanwhile, anyone who’s still into the aging CD will be shocked to find the number so eventually large.

I’m in the former group, myself. I’m ashamed to admit that my vision is so skewed that I really thought everybody was buying online like I am.

U.S. Music Forecast, 2008 to 2013

Jupiter’s report was called “U.S. Music Forecast, 2008 to 2013.” It also announced that 55 percent of Americans who shop online will be paying to download music by 2013.

This boon for the internet company should not cheer the hearts of the entire music business, however. The report also estimated that the overall market will shrink within the same amount of time from its current $10.2 billion to $9.2 billion.

You might roll your eyes (who can make predictions in the face of the economic storms immediately before us?) but you have to admit that it’s going to happen. The market will shrink.

How much, though? I defy anyone to guess accurately.

Investigating market crossover

The report also saw fit to investigate market crossover between CD and digital sales. They found in a survey that 64 percent of digital music service subscribers and 57 percent of music down loaders have also bought a CD in a store within the past year.

Although piracy still accounts for the dominant number of music downloads, the researchers also said that legitimate online sales are becoming more and more popular.

Companies like Amazon.com helping

They mentioned that companies like Amazon.com are helping this number by providing DRM-free music that can be used on multiple devices.

They found that digital music consumers getting an average of 60 percent of their purchased music online.

They also took a peek at the small, emerging market for cell phone music listening. They found that even if it becomes a fad in the US, it will be a small market even in five years: less than $300 million. (OK; comparatively small.)

An LA hospital worker has just pleaded guilty to selling medical files of stars like Britney Spears and Farrah Fawcett to the National Enquirer.

Up to 10 years in prison and $250,000 in fines

The consequences involved with breaking medical privacy laws for commercial purposes could be hefty, and include up to 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. She’s due for sentencing in May of 2009.

Prosecutors in the case said that Lawanda Jackson, 49, had received at least $4,600 from the paper for the records she pulled from the UCLA Medical Center.

At the center for 32 years

Jackson has worked at the center for 32 years, but prosecutors said that she’d only been in the business of record sales for the last few years. The National Enquirer has not been available for comment.

They began to deposit checks in an account belonging to Jackson’s husband in 2006, according to the records presented by prosecution.

Jackson, who was first confronted in 2007, resigned from her administrative position in July of that year, before they could sack her.

UCLA Medical Center releases statement

The UCLA Medical Center released a statement, refusing to comment on the Jackson case but announcing its intentions to continuously cooperate with authorites in their investigation on patient privacy at the center.

The United States Department of Justice chimed in with its own statement, hinting at the position the National Enquirerer might find itself in. “Certainly there is possible culpability at media outlets if we can determine that they were knowingly paying for the illegal access of celebrity files,” said Department spokesman Thom Mrozek.

Their privacy investigation is focused at least in part on the media’s role, he said.

Farrah Fawcett and Britney Spears among known names

There is no knowledge of how many stars have had their privacy breached, but Farrah Fawcett and Britney Spears are among the known names.

One of Fawcett’s lawyers mentioned in April that her cancer diagnosis and treatment details had been suspiciously published in the National Enquirer.

Jennifer Hudson’s brother-in-law has been arrested by Chicago police in connection with the deaths of her mother, brother, and 7-year-old nephew.

William Balfour was arrested from the Stateville Correctional Center, where he’d been held for some time on suspected parole violation (which seems to be code for “we need to keep him but can’t officially charge him yet”).

Handed over to custody of detectives

Chicago police spokeswoman Monique Bond confirmed that he was handed over to the custody of detectives, where he awaited formal charges in the killings of Jennifer Hudson’s family members.

The bodies of two of those family members-Hudson’s mother, Darnell Hudson Donerson, and brother, Jason Hudson-were found on Oct 24 at the family home in Chicago’s South Side. The body of Julian King, 7, was found in an SUV on the West Side three days later.

Until this Monday, Dec 1, 27-year-old William Balfour was only referred to by police as a “person of interest” in the case. Monday evening changed that.

The day the bodies were found

Balfour was originally taken into custody the same day that the bodies of Hudson’s mother and brother were found. But police can only hold a person for 48 hours without formal charges, and they were forced to move him after this amount of time. The Illinois Department of Corrections eventually took him in for suspected parole violation. He’s been in custody ever since.

He was 7-year-old Julian’s stepfather and the separated husband of Jennifer Hudson’s older sis Julia. He’s already served seven years, for a 1999 conviction of attempted murder and vehicular hijacking.

His mother denies involvement

His mother, Michelle Balfour, has continued to deny her son’s involvement with the shootings. Balfour himself, meanwhile, has stopped cooperating with police, and refused to take a lie-detector test, according to an anonymous police source.

The gun used in the killings was found by police on Oct. 29. It’s a .45-calibre firearm, found in a vacant lot in the West Side neighbourhood where the boy’s body was found. Although they’ve confirmed this much, police have not publicised further discussion of evidence.

The gun key evidence

The Chairman of the Ilinois Prisoner Review Board, Jorge Montes, told reporters that the gun was key evidence in deciding to hold Balfour based on probable cause that he did, in fact, violate parole. He’ll remain in custody until a hearing today (Dec. 3).

Balfour did not have an attorney at the last hearing, and there is no indication that he has one now. The public defender’s office said that no representation had been assigned to him yet because he hadn’t been officially charged.

If you’re seeking a place in the music business, street music is probably not what you had in mind. But it’s a great way to get experience performing, to learn the give and take of playing to an audience, and–heck–to earn a little cash. Why not give it a go?

Here’s how:

1. Find a place to play. Sure, you’re calling yourself a street musician…but the street is not necessarily the best place. Cars are loud, and you’ll likely be on an acoustic instrument. So choose better, if you can: a farmers’ market, some open-air crafts fair or festival—anywhere that you’ll find a lot of open-minded pedestrians. But find a spot that you can be noticed; don’t want to hide yourself among pottery stands.

2. Get permission, if you can. You’ll have much more peace of mind if you know whether you’re allowed to be where you are. Some cities require a license or a permit, so ask. If it’s a festival, you might have to get in and pay a fee. If it’s in front of a store, ask the owner or manager-it’s easy and simple, and they can help instead of hurt you. The worst that can happen is that they’ll say no, which beats being run off by business owners or police.

3. Play in a way that you can be heard, LOUDLY. Always perform standing, if you possibly can. Sitting down makes you look like a panhandler, and people won’t tip you. Also choose a type of performance that carries well: strumming is better than picking; upbeat is better than a whispery ballad; ect.

4. Get some tips. Make sure you bring a cup or a hat, or at least an open guitar case. Plant some “seed money” in it; bills if you’d prefer not to get coins. The money draws attention and lets people know that you’re worth the tips, and have been tipped before. Smile and thank those who tip, but keep on playing for the benefit of all-unless you want to come up with some fun, memorable “Thank you” routine (a special tune, a dance, a bow, or something else creative).

5. Play to your audience. Smile. This is the biggest thing. Where some colourful, crazy, or at least attention-getting clothing. And if you can forget about attention or tips, and just enjoy the music (with all the natural movement and emotion that comes); this will take you to the next level. And be ready for requests; they might be annoying but those who request also tip.

Don’t be discouraged if no one’s tipping, or even stopping. Try another spot, smile some more, or just do your thing and enjoy it.

Sell CD’s straight from the street if you’d like-just don’t expect to sell much, and make sure it’s legal.

6. Don’t play within earshot of other musicians. Be nice; give everyone room to get their music out into the sonic waves. Stepping on toes doesn’t help anyone, and will hurt your tips.

Now get out there and enjoy the act of entertaining.

Beyonce Knowles, always the Survivor, has hit the top of the Billboard charts with the debut of her newest double-disc record, I Am…Sasha Fierce.

The Music World/Columbia recording sold 482,000 copies in the first week–astounding, especially in light of the industry’s shifting form.

The songs are meant to debut a more personal side of the star, who wrote more for this project than any before, as well as debuting her new alter ego, Sasha Fierce. “If I Were a Boy” and “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It),” from the record, are already hit singles.

Her third No. 1 debut

It’s her third No. 1 debut so far. Her last record, B-Day, debuted with 541,000 copies sold in 2006, and Dangerously in Love, her first solo EP, debuted with 317,000 in 2003.

The rest of Billboard’s top 200 did some shifting, and showed a few incoming hit debuts. Nickelback’s Dark Horse debuted at No. 2, selling 326,000. The band originally snuck in to mass sales with All the Right Reasons in 2005, staying on the charts for an absurd 156 weeks and selling 6.97 million records so far.

“American Idol” king David Cook debuted this week as well, at No. 3. He sold 280,000 copies– more than twice what 2007’s Idol Jordin Sparks did (119,000). Sparks has since sold a quite respectable total of 956,000.

Fallen Taylor Swift

Last weeks chart topper, Taylor Swift’s Fearless, has fallen to No. 4. She sold only 217,000-but she’s young; she’ll bounce.

The multinational vocal group Il Divo has taken spot No. 5, with The Promise, which sold 162,000 this week. Their last record, 2006’s Siempre, sold 108,000 its first week for a No. 17 debut.

The hit teen romance flick, Twilight, saw its soundtrack sales rise 17 percent to 125,000…but it’s fallen on the chart from No. 5 to No. 6. The competition was nearly as fierce as Beyonce’s Sasha.

No. 7 to No. 10

The Now 29 compilation CD declined fell quickly from No. 3 to No. 7, selling 115,000 copies. Next down, the High School Musical 3 soundtrack sold 86,000 copies for only a one spot fall from last week.
Enya’s And Winter Came took a one spot fall as well, to No. 9, selling 83,000.

At the bottom of the top 10, AC/DC’s Black Ice sold 73,000 copies in it’s 5th week, for a total of 1.39 million so far. This is not bad, considering the fact that it’s available exclusively at Wal-Mart and Sam’s Club. Nothing like a good rock CD to go with your vat of olive oil.

Music biz as a whole

Other musical debuts for the week: Dido’s Safe Trip Home (No. 3) with 51,000, and Zac Brown Band’s The Foundation (No. 17) with 44,000.

Sales are up from last week by 6 % (a total of 9.45 million records moved) but down from last year at the same time… but 32 percent.

The music business is not what it once was-and the economy is not going to be bailing it out any time soon.

Dr. Pepper hasn’t exactly come through… and now Axl Rose and the Guns N’ Roses are going to make them pay for it.

The soda megacompany made an ill-fated promise in March as a publicity stunt, saying that it’d give a free bottle of its product to everyone in the US if Chinese Democracy was released within the year.

The band came through, although things looked iffy at first. The release of this now notorious album has been awaited-and delayed-since 1994, when they first started recording it.

Chinese Democracy hit stores Sunday

Just this Sunday the full Chinese Democracy hit stores officially, blowing fans away and leaving everyone else in their right minds rather cold.

But the promised overflow of free libation was even more disappointing. Dr. Pepper had an online claiming system set up for one day, on a website that soon malfunctioned.

Now the Rose’s lawyer, Alan Gutman, is taking action. He sent a righteously indignant letter to the Dr. Pepper Snapple Group on Tuesday.

Wee-wonky website upset fans

Gutman claims that many fans were upset by the wee-wonky website offer, and that the band’s name was used and abused without permission.

“The redemption scheme your company clumsily implemented for this offer was an unmitigated disaster which defrauded consumers and, in the eyes of vocal fans, ‘ruined’ the day of ‘Chinese Democracy’s’ release,” said Gutman’s letter.

“Now it is time to clean up the mess.”

He asked for a full-page apology in major newspapers like the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, USA Today and The Wall Street Journal; a longer time period for soda redemption and “an appropriate payment to our clients for the unauthorized use and abuse of their publicity and intellectual property rights.”
The size of the “appropriate payment” asked was not released.

“Should have negotiated a legitimate relationship”

“Had you wished to engage in a commercial tie-in with our clients, you should have negotiated a legitimate relationship,” the letter continued.

Dr. Pepper, as you might expect, had another spin on things. A spokesman ignored the letter in his interactions with the press, and blithely stated that they’d done everything possible to come through on “a fun giveaway.”

“This was one of the largest responses we have ever received for a giveaway and we’re happy we were able to satisfy the thirst of so many Dr Pepper fans,” he said.

They did extend the promotion

They did extend the promotion for 18 extra hours, through 6 PM Monday, as well as setting up a toll-free phone line for coupon requests.

This row comes at a rather significant time for food co and musical artist interaction; earlier this year there was a big lawsuit between 50 cent and Taco Bell Corp.

50 Cent Vs. Taco Bell

The rapper sued the Mexican fast-food chain after his name was used without permission in a set of advertising.

It was pretty clever. The print ad asked if he’d start calling himself 79 Cent, 80 Cent or 99 Cent—the prices on Taco Bell’s value menu.

50 Cent (known from birth as Curtis Jackson) was not terribly eager to oblige them.

The New Yorker recently came out with an at-home interview piece on Prince. During the interview, Prince denounced gay marriage in no uncertain terms.

What could have been a simple, hairy situation became downright shaggy when he threw politics into the mix. Democrats hold views that generally clash with the teachings of the Bible, he said, and Republicans don’t.

Prince recently converted to Jehovah’s Witness

The artist formerly known as formerly-known-as-Prince (now he’s Prince again) was recently converted into the fold of Jehovah’s Witnesses. “I don’t see it really as a conversion,” he told the New Yorker. “More, you know, it’s a realization. It’s like Morpheus and Neo in ‘The Matrix.’” Okay. We’ll accept that.

The whole thing happened after two years of debating with his friend Larry Graham-also a musician. Now Prince, like the others of his kind that you’ve closed your blinds and hid behind your couch from, ventures outside of his gated community sometimes to go door-knocking.

“Sometimes people act surprised,” he said, “but mostly they’re really cool about it.”

Rather startling terms

He gave his opinion to the New Yorker in startling terms. “God came to Earth and saw people sticking it wherever and doing it with whatever, and he just cleared it all out,” he said. “He was, like, ‘Enough’.”

He soon forayed into politics: “So here’s how it is: you’ve got the Republicans; basically they want to live according to this-” he pointed to a Bible on a table- “But there’s the problem of interpretation, and you’ve got some churches, some people, basically doing things and saying it comes from here, but it doesn’t.

“And then on the opposite end of the spectrum you’ve got blue, you’ve got the Democrats, and they’re, like, ‘You can do whatever you want.’ Gay marriage, whatever. But neither of them is right.”

“Teaching experience”

He offered a story-validating, in a sense, his openness to “teaching experiences.”

“There was this woman. She used to come to Paisley Park and just sit outside on the swings,” he said. “So I went out there one day and I was, like, ‘Hey, all my friends in there say you’re a stalker. And that I should call the police. But I don’t want to do that, so why don’t you tell me what you want to happen. Why are you here? How do you want this to end?’ And she didn’t really have an answer for that. In the end, all she wanted was to be seen, for me to look at her. And she left and didn’t come back.”

Good story, Prince.

Whatever your political leanings

Whatever your political leanings, if you’ve got any religious ones, and towards Christianity, you must be feeling a sense of ironic dismay in getting this kind of support from “a small fifty-year-old man in yoga pants and a big sweater, wearing platform flip-flops over white socks, like a geisha,” living in a house bespattered with purple.

Really, Prince. No thanks, Prince. We always sorta thought you were gay, Prince.

The rumble of response

Obviously the response has begun to rumble; bloggers are outraged; Perez Hilton dedicated a piece to refuting even the validity of the interview. It’s not so surprising, not even really that unfortunate–because to hear him state his opinion so emphatically without tact is, actually, a little refreshing.

It’s like when Tom Cruise starts getting all crazy on us… at least he cares enough to say something that no one will ever agree with and stick to it, right?

There’s still time, people. If you hurry, you should still be able to get into one of the world’s biggest songwriting contests in the world.

The 16th Billboard World Song Contest (yes, that Billboard) has reset its entry deadline for December 15. The original date was November 15–but now, thanks to the millions of other procrastinators that cover Earth’s surface, the door’s been held open for you a little longer.

Enter by mail or online

The contest can be entered either by mail (Send to: The Billboard Song Contest, P.O. Box 1000, Mounds, OK 74047-1000) or via Sonicbids.com. For the latter, just go to www.sonicbids.com/opportunity and go to contests; this one is near the top.

Sonicbids is offering a free 3-month membership to those entering the contest…in case that was a problem.

You can enter an unlimited number of songs in any of the following categories: 1. Rock/Alternative 2. Pop 3. Jazz 4. R&B/Blues 5. Country 6. Latin 7. Rap/Hip-Hop 8. Contemporary Christian/Gospel 9. Dance 10. World 11. Americana/Folk 12. Electronica/Soundtrack. But there is a $30 fee per song… helpful, for them and you, in keeping your choices selective.

The judging process

Songs will be judged, the website says, based on composition, lyrics (when applicable), melody, and originality.” They can be a capella, without lyrics, or lyrics only. More likely, they can be a very poor-quality recording. “The quality of performance and production will not be a consideration,” says the website. Believe them.

First, second, and third place winners will be chosen in each of the 12 categories by panels of the usual “top industry professionals” and the possibilities for exposure are endless.

You keep the rights to everything sent in, but the contest winners are celebrated in a taped ceremony with some performances from winners, ect. Also, you might end up on the BBSC Contest Winners CD. Prizes are explained as follows on the site:

Prizes

“Twelve (12) Grand Prize Winners will receive the Excellence in Songwriting Award, a Casio WK-3300 keyboard ($400), a one-year subscription to Taxi ($300), Indie Band Manager software ($99), a pair of BluBlocker Sunglasses ($20), a set of D’Addario guitar strings ($10), and song placement on the 16th BBSC Winner’s CD.

“Twelve (12) second place winners will receive placement on the 16th BBSC Contest Winners CD, Excellence in Songwriting Award, a one-year subscription to Taxi ($300), Indie Band Manager software ($99), a pair of BluBlocker Sunglasses ($20), and a set of D’Addario guitar strings ($10).

“Twelve (12) third place winners will receive placement on the 16th BBSC Contest Winners CD, Excellence in Songwriting Award, a one-year subscription to Taxi ($300), Indie Band Manager software ($99), a set of D’Addario guitar strings ($10), and a pair of BluBlocker Sunglasses ($20).

“The winning song titles and winners name of the top three (3) songs in each category will be placed on the official Billboard Song Contest website (www.billboardsongcontest.com).

Honorable mentions

Honorable mentions still get fun consolation prizes; the aforementioned guitar strings, sunglasses, or software.

Check out the website for more information or entry forms, and to see “slammin’ video clips” from last year’s awards show: www.billboardsongcontest.com

The first-ever Grammy Nominations Concert is set to take place on December 3^rd.

In this historic development, the nominees for what is arguably the most momentous music awards ceremony in the world will be announced live during the show, which will be broadcast live on CBS.

Mariah Carey, Foo Fighters, BB King…

This concert will feature Mariah Carey, the Foo Fighters, BB King, Celine Dion and John Mayer, among others. LL Cool J and Taylor Swift will serve as hosts.

The show will take place at the Nokia Theatre LA Live in Los Angeles. The evening is also meant to celebrate the grand opening of the Grammy Museum, which will be housed in the downtown LA entertainment complex where the Nokia Theatre, Club Nokia and the Staples Center are also located. The Staples Center is where the Grammy Awards ceremony is annually held.

Proceeds go to the museum

Proceeds from ticket sales (they’re available now at Ticketmaster) will go to support the Grammy Museum.

The actual awards ceremony-the 51^st Annual Grammy Awards-will take place on February 8 of 2009, in its usual home at the Nokia Theater.